Question:
Ive heard people talk about h?w to get ?our ?x boyfriend back us?ng th? no contact rule but Im st?ll not sur? th?t ?t r?all? works. Can you explain in mor? detail what it ?s and how it? supposed t? work?
Answer:
Sure thing. The most common question th?t people ?sk th?mselve? wh?n theyve broken u? is: h?w long sh?uld I wait b?f?r? making contact w?th my ex and will anyth?ng bad happen ?f I contact them to? soon.
Its n?t rocket science to understand that th? communication aspect aft?r ? break u? ?s critical ?nd c?n make ?t or break ?t depending on wh?t ?ou do.
The things ?ou do, th? things ?ou say, wh?t y?u d? ?round h?m ?n the ?mmediate hours, days and weeks aft?r the breakup w?ll set the tone for how he views you. Mess th?s u? and your chances ?f g?tting back togeth?r will g? d?wn dramatically, ?o y?u need t? be very careful when y?u make y?ur next move.
Having said that, the things ?ou d? and sa? arent n??rl? ?s important ?s the amount of contact ?ou make. Dont b? surprised if the communication b?twe?n y?u tw? dries up, thi? ?s totally normal after ? breakup. Whats not normal is keeping th? lines ?f communication and contact open s? th?t ?ou ?an hang ?n to your ex. This will only complicate ?our situation ?nd ?t could ?ven drive him furth?r away, ?nd thats not wh?t ?ou want to do.
In short, the m?re ?ou try and hang on t? the relationship, the worse off it ?? f?r you. It ends up b?ing counterproductive ?nd accomplishes the exact opposite ?f wh?t you want when youre tr?ing t? figure ?ut h?w to get ?our ?x boyfriend back.
Its important f?r you to understand that letting him g? is reall? th? first step to g?tt?ng h?m back. Reconciliation betw?en ?ou tw? ?an ?nly begin on?e youve accepted th? break up. And until ??u come to that realization, any ?nd all attempts to contact ??ur boyfriend will backfire and be met w?th resistance, not open arms.
You need to ??m? to terms w?th ?our relationship and accept th?t ?ts over. The reason f?r d?ing this is ?o youre no longer spending ??ur time fixing someth?ng thats broken. And th?? ?? important t? your ex boyfriend. Why? Because until ?ou d? this, hell avoid ?ou ev?ry chance he gets. Hes n?t about to ??m? around ?nd start talking t? ??u ?f h? ?till thinks ?our ?nl? goal ?? to g?t back together.
Youve g?t t? make ?t l??k l?ke youve moved ?n from him. There ?re a couple ?f ways of d?ing this if ?our ?x doesnt se?m interested ?n ?ou ?r youre n?t totally ?ver him.
This n?xt part ?s key ?? pay attention. The further awa? ??u remove ?ours?lf fr?m the situation, th? greater h?s reaction and surprise w?ll be. This ?? primarily because withdrawal and detachment ?? not wh?t ??ur boyfriend expected from ??u ?t this point in time. He broke up w?th you and expected th?t youd g? ?ut kicking and screaming, begging for anoth?r chance, ?o hes looking f?r ?ou t? put up a fight.
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back By Leveraging The No Contact Rule
Breaking ?ff all contact w?th ?our ex boyfriend ?s th? fastest ?nd simplest way t? g?t him t? notice ?ou again. However for many women th?s ?? th? hardest thing to do. In m?n? cases when couples fail to g?t back tog?ther ?ts becaus? some?ne broke th? n? contact rule. Violating the n? contact rule on ?our part alwa?s leads to the foll?wing scenario in your exs head:
I ??nt beli?ve h?w desperate ?he is. Its clear she need? me more than I n?ed her. Why would I want to date ??m?on? like that again?
Coming off ?s desperate and needy will make ?our boyfriend lose ?n? respect h? h?d for you. As so?n as h? realizes youd d? just about anything to g?t back with h?m ?s the sam? time he puts ?ou ?n a different category all together: girls who ?re easy.
I kn?w n? contact ?? hard. You go from calling, texting and talking t? som?one ever? day t? not speaking ?r calling that person ?t all. The transition isnt g??ng to be smooth ?nd its going t? really make you miss ?our ex boyfriend. But guess what? Youre ex ?s g?ing to miss you too.
Keep ?n mind that although he broke up with ?ou suddenly, he w?s lo?king for a gradual withdrawl. He was fully expecting to hear from y?u ?nd lo?k over hi? shoulder ?nd s?e y?u chasing h?m and begging t? tak? h?m back. In essence, thi? all?ws h?m to exploit th? break up. Theres n? rush for him t? let y?u go b?cau?e he knows th?re? ? part of y?u that i? st?ll in love with him.
As y?u c?n ?e? thi? comforts
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back By Using The No Contact Rule
Stand y?ur ground when ?t comes to th? no contact rule. As mentioned bef?re this includes email, texting, phoning y?ur ex a? w?ll as n? visual contact. No communication, n? talking, n? exceptions.
Dont be surprised if y?ur ex calls y?u ?n the early stages ?f the break up. You ne?d to be strong ?nd refuse thi? early contact, a? much as youd love t? talk t? him ?nd hear his voice. Remember, the deck i? stacked ag?inst you.
In order t? hel? y?u thr?ugh th? initial no contact stages, y?u might ne?d to unplug from th? digital world. Stop charging y?ur cell phone. Avoid checking email, texts ?nd voicemail. Are y?u ?lway? on the computer? Then ?a? goodbye to Facebook, Twitter ?nd oth?r social networking sites for ? while.
By ditching the electronic anchors, y?u turn the tables ?n y?ur ?x boyfriend and put y?urself in ? position of power. Staying plugged ?n will only tempt y?u t? check u? ?n y?ur ex, and y?ur goal her? i? the opposite. You want y?ur ?x checking u? ?n you!
You m?ght n?t bel?eve it, but shutting down th? lines ?f communication will rattle your ex. Even th?ugh h? told you n?t t? contact him, th? reality i? that h? want? to hear from y?u on? wa? or another.
Look ?t it fr?m thi? angle: knowing th?t youre st?ll in hot pursuit of him giv?s y?ur ex the nice feeling that hes desired. But aft?r y?u stop focusing y?ur attention ?n him hi? ego will b? shot. Hes got t? face the reality of the situation ?nd entertain the possibility th?t hes not the center of y?ur world, whi?h i? s?mething h? never did when y?u wer? chasing him.
Heres a quick lo?k inside a guys mind:
How y?ur ex girlfriend handles the break u? speaks volumes ab?ut her. Being w?th ?omeone who wont leave y?u ?lon? i? annoying, but someone who waits by th? phone c?n be ju?t a? bad.
The thing that r?all? get? m? t? second guess ? break u? i? when sh? moves ?n and starts doing her ?wn thing. Its a lot easier t? th?nk ab?ut getting back t?geth?r wh?n sh? doesnt dwell ?n the past. Confidence and independence ar? sexy ?nd that? wh?n I start to wond?r ?f I h?d s?mething great.
As y?u c?n ?robabl? see, dropping off the radar creates ? huge void for your ex. Hes lost the benefit of ?e??ng ?ou causally ?nd being ?u?t friends. When ?ou t?ke yourself r?ght out ?f th? picture, ??ur ?x starts t? miss ??u l?ke crazy immediately. And this, more than anything, speeds u? th? process for g?tting back together. Youll never get back w?th your ?x boyfriend unt?l he misses ?ou again.
How t? Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back By Saying No t? Just Friends
Its impossible t? keep th? n? contact rule ?f ??u and ?our ?x ?re ?till ??e?ng ?a?h ?ther as friends. But ??u know what? You shouldnt be friends with h?m in the f?rst place if ??u w?nt to date him again.
Learning h?w to get your boyfriend back ?? hard, but understand that friendship ?s n?t the answer. Its n?t g?ing to bring you ?ny closer t? him; ?n fact, ?t w?ll drive ? wedge b?twe?n you tw? and push ?ou furth?r ?p?rt romantically. Friendship with ?our ex boyfriend is a myth, ?nd ?n m?st cases b?th sides wind u? hurt and bitter.
How Long Should You Keep Up No Contact?
This ?? th? m??t commonly asked question. Even though ever? break up ?? different, th?r? are ??me ground rules ??u n??d t? follow wh?n ?t c?m?? to contact with ?our ex. In m?st cases, a period ?f ?bout ??x weeks will do it.
The ?ix week timeline ?s long ?nough t? let th? dust settle and th? healing begin. Any hurt ?r bitter feelings ?n both sides w?ll h?ve g?ne awa? by this point. Also smaller issues th?t lead t? th? break u? will be forgotten, ?o youll ?nly h?ve t? worry about th? m?r? important ones.
Most importantly of all, the ?ix week time period give? your ?x ??me s?r?ou? time to miss you! Dont be surprised ?f he calls you b?for? th? ?ix week period ?? up, but ?f he hasnt, dont worry. Hell be more open t? hearing fr?m ?ou ?fter cutting off communication for ?o long.
And whats more, since ?ou havent contacted him? He wont s?cond guess ?our motives. It makes talking t? you mu?h easier ?nd enjoyable b?c?u?? you havent been pressuring h?m 24/7 to get back together.
from How to Get Your Ex Back - Make Ex Want You Back http://ift.tt/1A8df1X
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