What To Do When Bad News Gets You Down
Terrible things happen ever? day ?n th?s planet. People ?nd animals ?re harmed, or ?v?n killed. Plants ?re going extinct. Property is destroyed. Natural disasters wreak havoc. People b?come homeless, lose their loved ones, or be??m? permanently disabled. The list ?f dreadful things th?t can happen ?? never-ending. Seeing ?r hearing news ?b?ut things th?t ?e?m bad can be v?r? stressful. It can c?u?? feelings ?f panic, anxiety, sadness, powerlessness, anger, ?nd fear. Understanding ??ur response to bad things w?ll h?lp ?ou find a place of tranquility inside, reg?rdle?s ?f what ?s happening ?r?und the world.
The f?r?t thing t? realize ?s that all form ?? temporary. People die. Animals die. Buildings w?ll all eventually fall to th? ground. Even mountains ?re ?n ? continual state of wearing ?w?y back ?nto the earth. There ?s no form th?t exists that w?ll n?t som? day b? destroyed. It ?? the w?y of form. As humans, th?s is hard f?r us to understand. We want life to b? predictable, safe, humane, and everlasting. We suffer wh?n we lose things th?t we love, that kee? u? safe ?nd comfortable, and th?t w? ?re familiar with.
The painful emotions that ?ou feel when ?om?thing bad happens, ?ven ?f ?ou ?re n?t directly affected by it, ?re due t? feelings of helplessness over, ?nd attachment to, form. Your ego w?nts form t? remain. It wants ?our loved one? never to die, your home to n?ver burn to the ground, ?nd f?r bad things t? n?t happen. This ?s not th? way ?f our world, though, and to fight ?t w?th pessimistic feelings ?nl? makes ??u feel bad ?nd h?? no direct affect ?n keeping bad things from happening.
It ?s ??ur attachment t? things, people, ?nd places that c?u?? ?ou painful emotions. Perhaps ??u h?v? heard th? saying, Attachment is suffering. Since form ?? n?t permanent, any attachment (emotional, physical, or otherwise) that ?ou have t? form will alwa?? l?t ??u down. Your car w?s clean ?nd ?ou w?re proud, ?nd n?w a bird h?s pooped u?on it. Do ??u become angry and frustrated? Or do you let it go? Your wife loved you, n?w ?he h?s left. Do ?ou b?come angry, sad or despondent, or d? ??u let it go? Your ability to let go of attachment is ?ne of the key ingredients to peace of mind.
Your thoughts ?re the ?nly thing that makes a difference in h?w ?ou feel about bad things. It ?s that simple. First c?m?? ? thought, then an emotion. An emotion ?s ??ur bodys response t? ??ur thoughts. This works for both things that ??u th?nk are good in ??ur life, and things th?t you think are bad. When bad things happen ?n the world, ?t ?s ?our thoughts ?b?ut it th?t make you suffer, not the bad thing. It ?? ?our attachment t? bad things n?t happening that makes ?ou suffer.
So, ?ou m?? wonder, What do I d? when bad things happen? The thing has happened completely ?ut ?f ?our control. You can accept th?t it happened ?nd eradicate ?ny thoughts ?bout ?t from your mind, or ??u c?n th?nk ?bout ?t incessantly, feel bad, ?nd lose sleep. But realize this: your feeling bad, crying and losing sleep does ?nly ?ne thing: it makes YOU feel badly. It d?es n?thing to change the bad things th?t
Perhaps ?? y?u read th?? ??u ar? realizing th?t there ?? s?m? guilt in y?u about not feeling badly. Maybe ?ou ?re thinking, But ?f I dont feel badly when bad things happen to ?ther people, d??s this mean I am not compassionate? That I ?m callous? That I ?m selfish ?nd self-centered? No, it d??s not. The b??t th?t y?u c?n be for th? world, your loved ones, and th? people th?t you ??me int? contact w?th ?ver? day is to be at ?our mo?t excellent. If ?ou ar? focused ?n the bad thing that happened recently, and talk about it, ?nd feel bad ?bout it, h?w can ?ou help tho?? wh? ar? closest t? y?u be ?t th?ir best? How ??n you be ?t y?ur best?
Letting g? of attachment t? form ?? on? ?f th? quickest ways t? a higher state ?f awareness. You realize th?t form is impermanent, ?nd you accept th?t y?u h?ve n? control over it. You c?n own form, and h?ve relationships with form, but form w?ll go ?wa? at ?ome point. It ma? affect y?u directly – y?ur car i? ?n ?n accident ?nd n?w y?u dont have one. Or, it m?? affect ??u indirectly – ??u hear ?n th? news th?t ?om? people have died. Either way, ?t is done. Your car ?? gone, and th? people are gone. It is y?ur choice – ??u ??n b? mad ?b?ut the car, or you c?n simply start making a plan to g?t a new one. You can b? sad about th? people who have died, or y?u can accept th?t people die ?very day, ?om?t?m?s tragically, ?nd th?t ?? the w?? ?f th? world.
To t?k? th?? ? step further, th? only thing th?t ?s permanent ?s love. If you ar? feeling badly ab?ut things th?t have happened, focus ?nst??d ?n the love inside of you. Love is th? onl? thing th?t ?s permanent ?nd it c?n n?ver be t?k?n fr?m you. It i? ? power th?t permeates ?v?rything and connects u? ?ll together. As y?u discover m?r? about ?our attachment to form, ??u can start experimenting w?th feeling love ?n?tead ?f resentment ?r anger. Love r?ally ?s the answer. It is th? ?nly true emotion; all ?thers ar? simply s?m? sort of fear. Fear ?nd love cannot reside ?n y?u at the ??me time. Fear i? a projection of ?n imagined future th?t ?ou dont want. If you ?re feeling ?omething ?th?r than love, l?ok deeply ?nd track th? emotion back t? the source. You will undoubtedly find fear if y?u lo?k deep enough.
A couple books th?t I often recommend to people who ?r? struggling with fear-based thoughts and emotions ar? both by Gerald Jampolsky: Good-Bye to Guilt ?nd Love Is Letting Go of Fear. These books w?ll hel? ?ou begin t? understand h?w your emotions have led you astray from ?our true self.
But in th? m??n time, ?f y?u ar? feeling overwhelmed by current events, go inside ?f ?our??lf and find th? love ?n y?ur heart. Focus onl? on feeling th?t powerful feeling of love. Do wh?t?ver ?t takes to produce th?t feeling inside yourself: imagine som?on? th?t ??u love, ?r doing ??m?thing th?t y?u love. Once you get that love feeling inside of you, ?t w?ll push out ?ll ?th?r bad feelings ?nd bring y?u r?ght back into th? present moment, wh?ch ?? ?ll that th?re ?? anyway.
from How to Get Your Ex Back - Make Ex Want You Back http://ift.tt/1ss5t4q
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