If youre reading this article, I guess youve just got out of a relationship. It doesnt matter if it was a mutual decision, your decision or if the decision was made for you, its still a very difficult thing to go through. Most of us would like to end the suffering and pain (and maybe guilt) as soon as possible but many people turn to the wrong things and the wrong people to help them get over a breakup. Avoid making the mistakes that will only add to your pain in the long run, use these after relationships help tips so you can move on quickly and with your dignity. When it comes to handling a breakup there are two distinct lists you need to follow: a list of what to do and a list of what not to do. If you follow both lists you can move on a lot easier. Here are the dos and donts:
DO:
Enjoy yourself. Have fun (as much as possible at least). Even though it may seem impossible if you surround yourself with a good group of friends you can actually have a little fun during this time, you just have to let yourself. Allow yourself to be distracted and dont hang on to your pain, try to learn to let it go or at least learn to put it (and leave it) in the back of your mind. Spending time with your pals doing fun things can help you accomplish that goal.
Go for that makeover youve been thinking about. Now is a great time to focus on you in a positive way. It may be time to get n shape, move, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, get some new clothes, or just get a new hairstyle. It doesnt have to be big it just needs to be something that will make you feel more positive about yourself and the future and give you a reason to smile.
Only allow yourself to think about your relationship from the standpoint of what you can learn from your mistakes. This is not the time to wallow and obsess over every conversation and all the endless what ifs. This is the time to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in your next relationship to make sure you dont repeat the same mistakes. This may mean that you redefine the type of person you become involved with in the first place.
DONT:
Dont try to talk your ex into getting back with you. Even if there is a chance that the two of you can reconcile some day, you need to give things time so you can be sure you are getting back together for the right reasons and not just because youre afraid of being lonely. Give it time.
Dont rewind every conversation and every comment to death. As I said above, any time you think of your relationship it should be from the standpoint of what can I do better next time and not what should I have done differently this time.
Dont hook up with everyone you find. That is not fair to you or the new person in your life. They dont deserve to feel like they are second string just because you are hurting. Just keep your social interactions restricted to family and friends and put the romance on hold for a while.
In all aspects of life we can be challenged to find the right path and to do the right things. This is very true when it comes to finding constructive things to do to help you move on after relationships end. By following the simple common sense advice above you will greatly improve your chances of moving on more quickly, with less pain, and with less baggage. Dont make things harder than they already are, use your head while your heart is mending.
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