Its very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing youre both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that youve both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you wont each cheat on each other? Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.
For one thing, are there kids involved? This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzziest for the person who broke their other parents heart (at least thats the way the kids will see it. More than likely theyll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).
Even if there arent kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.
One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didnt share any responsibilities. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works its way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new soul-mate may not seem so brand new in five or ten years... just like your spouse.
Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just dont feel love for your spouse (and Im not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.
If it comes to that, its best for everyone involved if you dont let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.
Actually I think affair relationships usually never works.How ever if such a relationship had a seed germinating before you got married to your spouse then you can give it a try if that same fire burns within you.For example if you are having an affair with your former ex or high school sweet heart.But still you have to take in to consideration how the relationship ended.If it ended with a problem between both of you then it still not worth it to leave your spouse because that same problem might still replay especially if none of you have changed.But if the break up was for a reason none of you could help solving for example distance or lost of contact then it might work and I say might because you are cheating on your spouse and there will always be that point of trust.
What do you think? Drop your opinion in the comment box below
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